Three things that came up from the last blog.
Firstly, a quote by Michael Hill via Cornered Cat:
“Only say what can be heard.”
Practice saying only those things that the people around you can hear. For an ongoing conflict, spend some part of each day extending your understanding of the ideas your opposite can hear. Do not waste your time and your opposite’s by re-iterating unhearable words. Doing so is not only non-communication in the moment, it is building a context of non-communication across the long term.
Secondly, a thought from me:
I’m a very small person. My tits enter a room a few minutes before I do. I’ve got a back injury and I don’t objectively know how much that shows. For a lot of predator, I’m a pretty good victim profile.
Call me an “easy target”, and I’ll punch you inna face (eventually, I’ll need to find a chair to stand on, but your time will come). Aside from the fact that it’s kinda insulting, it’s incorrect. There’s nothing “easy” about targeting me: I’m pretty switched on, and rabid. It also makes it sound like things I can’t do a damn thing about are somehow personal faults – I can’t change the fact that I’m a semi-disable titsy quasi-midget. Stilts and a double mastectomy are not at present an option. All you can achieve is to piss me off.
You can, however, call me a “desirable target” all day long. It says precisely the same damn thing, but in a way that makes it sound like, well, a compliment.
Communication problem resolved. Tah-dah.
(A question arose as to why I object to “easy” and accept “desirable”, given that in that context they mean the same durn thing. I think that’s precisely the wrong question in that setting. What is important: where my foibles originate from, or how to get the message through to me?)
Thirdly, something I’ve stolen from an entirely unrelated source, but fits just about everywhere:
“If you wish to offend, speak for everyone.
If you wish to…not offend unnecessarily…speak for yourself.”