Trauma-aware self-defence instruction. 4

Join us for the next episode of “Anna Really Hates Marketing.” Here you will find excerpts from her new, upcoming book. Have you checked her Amazon Author’s Page lately? You know, where all her works are listed? No? Shame on you. I can’t think of a better way to spend the evening.


We are still talking about commonly-held yet incorrect and unhelpful beliefs about violence.

3.      ‘I can achieve 100% safety.’

People who can realistically assess risk are aware that they have a degree of control over their own personal safety. They know that through a combination of training, awareness, and lifestyle choices they can reduce their chances of becoming a victim of violence. They also know that 100% safety is unachievable, because the best plans can fail against better plans or sheer bad luck. Furthermore, they know that everything is a trade-off, so that higher level of safety may require restricting activities to such an extent that quality of life would plummet – and they still wouldn’t be 100% safe.

This lack of security does not keep them awake at night and doesn’t paralyze them with fear in the day. On the contrary, it empowers them to make choices based on a balanced, in-the-moment evaluation of their risks. It allows them to selectively ‘switch on’ in higher-risk situations, relax when the situation allows for it, and make emergency plans for all reasonable contingencies.

Many people, however, can’t or won’t handle that level of uncertainty. They don’t want to see it, so they don’t look at it. They prefer to believe that complete safety is a real possibility that can be achieved through making certain choices. The choices themselves vary hugely, from training self-defense, to getting a weapon, to carrying an amulet, to living a certain lifestyle. The key aspect here isn’t which choices people make, but the level of faith people have in their efficacy. Complete faith in whichever measures they have taken means that these people live their lives in an imaginary ‘safety bubble.’

People who live in a safety bubble cannot realistically assess risks. Only when they accept that they are at some degree of risk all the time can they take appropriate steps toward reducing that risk. Unfortunately, giving up their present feeling of safety, however illusory it may be, is too daunting for many people. As a result, they only do so when pushed by circumstances, after an incident has shattered their ‘safety bubble’ for them.


….and then what? To find out what happens when the safety bubble burst, stay tuned!


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