Clever things my friends said.

In no order whatsoever, here’s a pile of brilliant stuff my friends and friends’ friends said in the last few months. I’m not crediting anyone in case they don’t want to be associated with me in public, but none of this is my work.

The ultimate leverage as an adult is the ability to withhold your participation in someone’s life.


It’s weird how many philosophers/business thinkers are only wrong because the context they were right in is gone.


There’s another good life-directive: “Be easy to cheer for.”


You can either be weak and in pain or strong and in pain, and strong usually takes away the pain.


Unfortunately the combination of a very socially accepting place for people with less social skills, and exposure to what can be a very permissive environment, can cause people to make really bad social choices at cons.

[Note: same factors can be in play in many other settings.]


I think bravery is doing something regardless of the fact that you feel scared. What I’m talking about is doing something BECAUSE you feel scared. Fear is still the motivator, hence the issue. It may lead to the same actions and results as actual bravery, or it may not. If it doesn’t, it can be kinda catastrophic.


One thing I find funny in regards to people who can’t sympathize/identify with a hero of the opposite gender; out of all of the traits that those people don’t share with the hero, gender is the smallest.


I find good [self-defence] stuff carries through systems and even entirely disparate activities, and shitty stuff tends to be really specific. Which is kinda interesting considering how many instructors are giving themselves aneurysms trying to generate something trademarkable.


The problem with self defense is that it is a negative feedback system; if it works nothing happens. That can be very difficult to analyze. Did that guy not try to grab her and drag her into the shrubbery because she was adept at maintaining distance or had an unconscious air of confidence? Or was it because he never intended to in the first place? Or was there simply people off in the distance that he saw that she did not? There’s no way to know. You could spend a lifetime of diagrams and charts analyzing each moment.


The cost of survival is security and company. The cost of thriving is control.

Thriving is an evolution. Thriving means being willing/able to let survival worries go so that you can focus on creating an environment in which you can be vulnerable and open and reap the associated benefits and happiness. However, this involves maximizing effort with other people trying to do the same. That means that growth/health are the priority, not the specific individuals. Survival is personal and what you do about it is under your control. Thriving is (in my opinion, inevitably) communal and means surrendering personal control to the process.


Writing advice:

try the best you can
and do the things you always wanted to see
and all the things you’ve never seen
and crush the things you’ve hated
the worst that will happen is you will cringe while editing it in draft 2



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